In my life this week…
Got to the taxes appt but it's not simple and that is still stressful for me. I hate money stuff it causes huge amounts of anxiety. Just wish he'd just do my taxes for me make it simple. sigh.
Been watching the tv show parenthood with eric since it began. There is a child with aspergers on the show. This week he went camping with his grandfather. The grandfather realized all the parents deal with all the time. That when the parents send an instruction manual with him on the trip there is a reason. It's not about spoiling or coddling. He has real issues. It was very gratifying. Not that my family will ever stop calling Xander a spoiled brat. But it's nice to see a family get turned around, even if it is fiction.
In our homeschool this week…
we tried a writing workshop at the homelearners centre. Great workshop with a great homeschooling mama but I underestimated X's issues.
1. the copy book I had him bring to the workshop had one page of a story written already in it so of course to xander it was impossible to write anything else in it but the story and began to continue that ignoring why we were there in the first place.
2. I insisted he focus on what the rest of the children were doing and use the back of the copy book for this work. Again very upset. Breath mommy breath!! Finally I had him go ask her for a piece of paper after making a few other suggestions as solutions all of which were unacceptable..
4. By this point they were almost finished the first activity and I was so distracted i didn't understand what was expected and he certainly didn't. He sort of did part of the activity and we moved on to the next activity.
5. I held my breath hoping it would be ok to do two different activities on one paper. It was. Just in case I offered to get him another piece of paper just in case. I was exhausted already and was desperate to make this work. Also very grateful for the great moms and other children at the centre!
6. So the next activity was she wrote on the board "I am so strong I can lift a man up by his hair". There task was to do their own similar sentence; "I am so strong..."
7. Xander didn't understand. I am not strong he said. She is lying he continued, again with emotion. More breath mommy breath. Smile apologetically to the person doing the workshop. "you are strong Xander!" "It's pretend." All the while stressed we are disturbing everyone else, although it didn't appear to be the case. They all seemed to be enjoying the task; many were laughing and smiling. Admittedly I felt like crap but thought why can't X be like them? He was so smart why can't he understand?
8. Finally he wrote "I am so dum I put a banana in front of my face." I almost burst into tears. Breath mommy breath mommy. Ok so Good xander you wrote something that was pretend. Ok i wanted to say that, I should have said that but all that came out was "sweetie you aren't dum!". She write another sentence on the board. He freaks when i ask him to copy it to finish it. That is not allowed!!! It's cheating to copy other people. I try in vain to make him understand.
9. I couldn't deal. Xander couldn't deal. He burst into tears. I asked him if he wanted a hug (it doesn't occur to him to just seek comfort from me) and we'd go back to the gym and finish up for now.
10. I make it all the way down to the gym, show the paper to other moms and then i burst into tears. How can he feel that way???
10. Later on the way home we do the activity orally. I let him finish sentences about me. "mommy is so strong she..." etc. He still does things that are not "lying". We finally after much practice with mommy i do sentences about him. Start with things that would easier like I am so handsome or funny, things are not about things he feels crappy about. It ends well. No tears. we also have a discussion on the difference between cheating and copying.
11. I think we'll take a break from these activities as a group and practice more at home.
Places we’re going & people we’re seeing…
We are having a big get together monday at our house with a few other homeschooling families visiting. we could have up to 7 children in our place. Yikes! lol But looking forward to it and X is very excited!
My favorite thing this week was…
A discussion I had with Xander about why he didn't want a sibling. Not that it is in the cards but he has been so emphatic about not having one I was curious. Apparently he was afraid that the added expense of a baby would mean we could no longer homeschool. Also he was worried that he didn't know enough of how to take care of a baby. Of course I reassured him that we would make it work financially and that nothing would stop us from homeschooling. Also that he was a very good big cousin so i'm sure he'd be a fabulous big brother. His response: "can you please get me an instruction manual for babies?" Just how serious he was made me respond seriously. I told him if I was ever pregnant we'd spend the whole 9 months learning about babies. He could come to work with mommy and learn about babies first hand. I told him he could probably teach the volunteers a few things :)
What’s working/not working for us…
I have to deal with the thought that more things need to be done orally and not try and force something he is not ready for. I just feel so much pressure. My grandmother asks almost weekly what he is writing. I just feel so judged like i'm not doing enough. It doesn't help that she doesn't acknowledge that there are any issues. That there are just things he must do or he is not being "educated".
Homeschool questions/thoughts I have…
To follow up last week's post, I spoke to the psychologist who did Xander's assessment about ways to deal with his sensory issues. She didn't really have many suggestions and certainly nothing remotely comprehensive. So I looked at it as a challenge. If the psychologist can't find something let's see if i can. So i didn't find anything comprehensive but found some activity ideas that I might be able to elaborate on in order to create something consecutive.
picture...
Xander's (self-created) bedtime routine
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