Xander usually says, very proudly, with a big smile, my mommy!
Although I very happy Xander is so proud to say that I see myself more as a coordinator of learning. Although yes I do answer questions. I coordinate his learning from all sources including but not limited to: other homeschooling parents (formally or informally), teachers, dvd classrooms, online education/curriculuum, digital curriculum, dvd and book information and curriculum, museum visits and workshops, and workshops at the homeschooling community centre.
Why is this annoying to me? Well because it represents the very top down notion of learning in schools. Children are not buckets to be filled they are sponges to absorb all that is around them. People can not fathom learning if it doesn't come from a teacher standing at the front of a class. It also brings up notions of validity in whom or what transmits information.
What about socialization?
This can mean many things but usually (I have discovered) it means they are asking does he have any friends. This took me a long time to understand because how can someone be so ignorant?? I went to school my entire childhood and the only friend I ever had (with a couple of brief exceptions of girls who only were at my school for a short time) was someone who didn't even go to my school. A fellow homeschooling mom and I were laughing about this one as we planned our children's bday parties. Both of which were quite large. In Xander's case it was his largest ever and continues to be each year. Xander's friends come from children of mommy's friends, meeting at community events, schooled friends, children met after connecting online through online homeschooling forums, and of course (the largest numbers) other homeschoolers met through various activities in the city.
Although the question usually means; does he have friends, I wanted to take note of how socialization is more than just "having friends", it's about experiencing the world, getting to know people of various ages and learning to interact with them effectively. When I'd walk into the school to pick X up children would usually ignore me or if they had to speak to me they'd say the minimum needed. The first day I walked into the homeschooling community centre a homeschooler walked right up to me, introduced herself, asked me my name (it was my turn to be awkward) and proceeded to ask about whether we homeschooled, how long, and who was my child, how old he was, etc. Not only was this 9 year old a wonderful example to me of the wonderful results of homeschooling but was a fabulous ambassador for the centre and was a wonderful, if not unusual (at the time) introduction to the centre. Homeschoolers, generally, in my experience are more likely to be able to interact as equals with children and adults of various ages. Research has backed this up. Homeschoolers live in the world rather than existing for most of their day in a closely guarded and censored building.
Does he get tested?
I think this comes from a place of feeling like "we had to deal with this so so should he!" which in and of itself makes it invalid in my mind. We had to deal with a lot of things doesn't mean I want my child to experience them. Although many homeschoolers are tested either with standardized tests or through whatever curriculum the family is using it is not as necessary as it is in school. When there is only one child one can observe more what they understand rather than 'testing' in many circumstances whereas when you have 30 children it is much more difficult to get any sense of what any individual child understands without lots of testing.
For us Xander works best with audiovisual means of assessment. He was very traumatized by having everything be about the (several) tests every Friday in school. His math curriculum (whizz.us) has a test at the end of each activity but they are for assessment not judgment and he knows this which helps a lot!
He now can deal with oral assessments and even an occasional written quiz after two years away from school. For this reason, this year I decided, as well as peer pressure from family, to have him do the CAT exams. These tests are the Canadian standardized tests school children do across Canada. After doing them we won't be wasting the time again for a few years. He excelled in everything I expected him to excel in, proving my point that I don't need a test to know what my child knows. Just to explain one result; the grammar score was low because we have never done any formal English grammar. So actually the score is pretty good considering. Here are his results. Keep in mind when he was assessed by an educational psychologist when we began homeschooling (just coincidence he was formally assessed/dx at that same time) he was 2 years behind in everything except the mechanics of English reading (where he was 3 yrs ahead). This after 3 years in school. After 2 years homeschooling at (by age) grade 5.0:
| Subject | Percentage Correct | Grade Equivalency | Percentile (compared to those of his grade who have taken the test across Canada) |
| Spelling | 87.5% | 7.2 | 72nd |
| Vocabulary | 95.8% | 12.9+ | 97th |
| General Math | 80% | 7.5 | 85th |
| Dictation | 70.8% | 7.6 | 78th |
| Language / Reading Comprehension part 1 | 75% | 5.7 | 62nd |
| Language / Reading Comprehension part 2 |
96% | 12.9+ | 99th |
| Language / writing conventions (grammar) | 45.8% | 3.2 | 28th |
| Computation (math) | 50% | 5.3 | 64th |
I am very proud! Now I just hope certain family members get the hint.
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